Days

I can't concentrate whatsoever this morning. Can't write about Tessa today. I need to give her all my attention, as you do listening to a friend who needs you to listen, but I can't listen to her today. There are too many other voices in my head, actually they're not in my head, they feel as if they're in every part of my body.
Not today, Tessa.

So, when you can't write and this isn't about can't be bothered, it's really will mess up if write, then what to do? There's always something that can be done. I've found a family member, Jose Estevez living in London, aged fifteen in 1876. I could lose myself delving into that world, but not today either. Today I don't want to lose myself, I want to find myself. And some would say finding yourself is sorting out where you've come from, what your past means, who you are. Not today. Today I want to look forward. I'm going to Spain in just over a week's time. That's reality and I'm going to prepare for it today. The practical stuff. And by tonight, I will know that I am prepared. And tonight, at the Juba rehearsal I'm going to dance so hard I won't be able to think about past or future, only now. And then there is tomorrow.