And then on Facebook, connected to so many, 'Success depends on how well we relate to those around us. How we take care of the whole community, the whole community being the world, which includes, people, animals, plants, everything.'
We're not individuals, we're part of the whole and life is merely a physical ride. It's not real. We can change the ride. We're at the controls. Who are you?

There's a day to get on with.

Bright warm red dissipates in steaming still water like clouds in a distant breezy sky. Nothing else matters.
Bones softening, merging into matter that doesn't matter. Nothing matters but the sight in the distance of those that do matter.

In Between Times

It may be the time of year, suspended between Christmas and New Year. Feels a bit like No Man's Land. Should still be feeling sociable and festive but can't quite get into work mode. The house is full and I work from home mainly.
Monster Belt flows when I'm in full swing. What's good is that I get snatches of valuable thinking time and eureka moments. The crux is what is real and what isn't? Who is sane and who crazy, or is there a little of both in us all? I know the next chapter, just have to write it. Here goes...

The New Year Approaches.

Thinking about what I don't want to stay as it is in 2012. This last year has been a mixture of soaring highs and bottomless lows. I don't want to live on a flat plain, but the lows were too drawn out and deep this last year.
The next twelve months may have to be ones to get through and make the most of as commitments mean certain things cannot be changed, but that makes me determined to organise soul building events and to build a positive attitude.
Changes could be big. I'm pre-menopausal and in some ways I'm excited to emerge as a different woman entering a new stage of my life. There are new possibilities and a different attitude to life ahead and I'm looking forward to finding them out. I've been concerned that this will mean I can't do certain things, like the dance I do, but then, another type of dance will take its place at some point and that's okay.
And peace. Hopefully there will be some peace. But for that, changes have to be made and they will be, just not yet, I think.
Waffling again. I need to think. New way of working and living. I can make changes for the better there. It's a start.

What writing throws up.

I thought this week would be easy, but it's hard. Monster Belt is throwing up so many things about my childhood, things mum's told me about her parents and their life, her life and it's all falling into this book and it's wrapped up in the Yorkshire moors which can be bleak beyond desolate. And that's my childhood too. I remember how cold it can be. Chillingly, bone achingly cold.

It makes you want to reach out to people in the past, ones I never knew (I never knew my grandparents) but I can't. It's a different world. And as I'm writing, I'm wondering where this novel, in fact, any of my novels fit.

Concentration

What do we do when we can't concentrate? Go and do something else? But I want to do what I'm doing, working on Monster Belt, but my thoughts keep straying.
Keep telling myself, this is a job, bum on seat, eyes on screen, fingers on the keyboard, but I'm having difficulty controlling my thoughts.
Discipline. That's what I need and I have, I'm just not utilising.

Think one chapter. I'll complete Chapter Sixteen. Leave the edit. Move on to Chapter Seventeen.
I like my characters. I want them on their way. I can do this.