The New Year Approaches.

Thinking about what I don't want to stay as it is in 2012. This last year has been a mixture of soaring highs and bottomless lows. I don't want to live on a flat plain, but the lows were too drawn out and deep this last year.
The next twelve months may have to be ones to get through and make the most of as commitments mean certain things cannot be changed, but that makes me determined to organise soul building events and to build a positive attitude.
Changes could be big. I'm pre-menopausal and in some ways I'm excited to emerge as a different woman entering a new stage of my life. There are new possibilities and a different attitude to life ahead and I'm looking forward to finding them out. I've been concerned that this will mean I can't do certain things, like the dance I do, but then, another type of dance will take its place at some point and that's okay.
And peace. Hopefully there will be some peace. But for that, changes have to be made and they will be, just not yet, I think.
Waffling again. I need to think. New way of working and living. I can make changes for the better there. It's a start.

What writing throws up.

I thought this week would be easy, but it's hard. Monster Belt is throwing up so many things about my childhood, things mum's told me about her parents and their life, her life and it's all falling into this book and it's wrapped up in the Yorkshire moors which can be bleak beyond desolate. And that's my childhood too. I remember how cold it can be. Chillingly, bone achingly cold.

It makes you want to reach out to people in the past, ones I never knew (I never knew my grandparents) but I can't. It's a different world. And as I'm writing, I'm wondering where this novel, in fact, any of my novels fit.

Concentration

What do we do when we can't concentrate? Go and do something else? But I want to do what I'm doing, working on Monster Belt, but my thoughts keep straying.
Keep telling myself, this is a job, bum on seat, eyes on screen, fingers on the keyboard, but I'm having difficulty controlling my thoughts.
Discipline. That's what I need and I have, I'm just not utilising.

Think one chapter. I'll complete Chapter Sixteen. Leave the edit. Move on to Chapter Seventeen.
I like my characters. I want them on their way. I can do this.

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou

Have to say, came into this biased after hearing some not so complimentary things about working with Wes Anderson. However, I haven't worked with Wes Anderson, so that is someone else's experience, someone I respect, but not my direct opinion.
So, coming in slightly biased.
I immediately enjoyed it, the script, direction, art direction, editing, performances. Loved Steve Zissou lighting a cigarette when his stranger son turns up and the way it/the match burned. Angelica Houston, always a joy. And Owen Wilson, not as actor I usually like, was excellent as Steve's son. Certain roles are made for Bill Murray. I need say no more.
Loved the ship and how we were shown the different rooms, the antique look and the fact that it was eccentric. And the voice over.
The hiatus moments as the scene turned. The irrationality of characters and their emotion and others for their restrained emotion.
And then on another note, what it raises in us, the viewer. The urge for adventure, for spontaneity, for being part of a team with a common cause (this has cropped up a lot this year) following your dream and keeping that sense of awe, respect, appreciation.
The team. Loved the shot of everyone in the submarine and the little sign, 'No more than six people..' and there were about ten. Moments like this are shot through the film.

Where the film slightly lost my attention was with the pirates. Although the camera didn't linger on anyone shot or hurt and injuries didn't seem as bad as you would have thought, keeping that surreal feel, people were shot, I'm not going to give away the plot, so bear with me, but this section didn't hold my attention in the way the rest of the film did and this section took up a vast chunk.And this wasn't a gaping objection, merely a slight dip.
However, it was the device that brought all parts together, it was set up well, 'Don't take us into unprotected waters....' These hints worked as part of the humour rather than sledge hammer signposts. The quick delivery, although given to us more than once, were part of the film's remit.

The Life Aquatic isn't my favourite film of all time, but for much of it, I will watch again and probably find things I missed on the first viewing.

The Monster Belt

Someone has told me to watch The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou. I looked it up and read the premise. It goes along the lines of, '....man seeks to find and kill the sea creature that killed his best friend.'

I'm working on my novel, The Monster Belt (working title) at the moment. The premise? 'Young man seeks to find the sea monster that killed his best friend.'

Mmmm. Damn. I watched a clip of The Life Aquatic and really like it. It's nothing like The Monster Belt.

Mmmm. Damn.

Leaving Coty

Chapter seven of this edit of Leaving Coty. Cut, cut, cut, but all for the good of the plot. And the sense of the plot. Tessa isn't the clearest of people in this book. She's got what she wants, but does she want it now? Funny how a book we're writing can change because we as people change. She is striving for something else now and in that striving, the thing she really wants but won't admit, comes along. When we're looking somewhere else...
Now, in reality, in Ruth's World, I'm aware of certain things that came along and went again when I wasn't looking, but now I'm looking because I do want them, and now because I'm looking, they won't come.
Typical.
But, in Tessa's World, I'm in control, so she might just get what she wants, unless my reality dictates.
This book is such a journey.
And I'm desperate to get back to Monster Belt. Very, very fond of Monster Belt.

More JW and childhood

I read a few chapters of Jeanette Winterson's book last night and a few this morning. It's not an autobiography as such, it feels like her thoughts mingled with fiction with fact and you can hear her saying it aloud. This is why I like it so much. And it reminds me of things, things that I knew but were not said, or thought clearly. Some people at her reading said how she inspired them, (young women from Accrington and others) how she resonated with them, how she made them laugh and think. All these things.
Reading her book from her comments reminds me why I too used to read so much. It isn't to lose yourself, it is to find.
There is a coldness to a childhood in the north of England, was, physically due to lack of heating and the weather. There was warmth, a lot of warmth, I had a very happy childhood, but at the edges there is a coldness. Parents weren't involved, children had their own world, there was a difference that now blends between children and parents. If you're lucky.
But we found out on our own. And I read. It's good to be reminded.