Living

Lizzie has been through the wringer. At first she was just out for herself. Then she was all over the place, one minute she felt this, the next that, who could tell what she'd do next?
When would she snap out of it?

There's supposed to come a point when we all snap out of it, isn't there? Everybody's turning point, moment of revelation, when we say, 'enough is enough' comes in our own time.

The difference is, Lizzie is a character in a book. She has to be real, but a distorted real. At some point in the pages she must change.

It has taken a long time to get to know Lizzie. I knew Tessa in 'Meeting Coty' immediately. Lizzie is different. She had no goal. She didn't have many redeeming qualities. She didn't have people around her who could define her.
And then there are people. Stangers who accept her immediately. And Jez who seems to see another side of her that no-one has recognised before.

Is that what all of us are looking for? Someone else to see where we sparkle inside? This isn't confidence I'm talking about, this is the recognition that we are here to interact. No show, no prestige, no one up manship, no gloss, just the basic needs we have.
I read a book years ago which I must re-read about a journalist who travels to the Amazon. He's an intellectual, he comes from a wealthy background, he thinks he knows everything. He meets a woman and this goes out of the window as only she and he exist in the Amazon.
He is happy just living day to day and then a rescue party arrives. He is elated. He can go back to civilisation. She doesn't want to go. He goes and almost straight away regrets his decision. He tries to refind the place where they lived. He cannot find it. I can't remember if he eventually does and she is living happily with someone else.
That doesn't make a bad ending, it's actually better because it shows that she lives by her needs and is happy with that. He was doing the same until his brain kicked back into gear.
So. And I've wondered this before. Would we be better off not intellectualising everything and just get on with living?
Ha. The irony.
I'm digressing too. I know what's going on in my head, well, sort of. And I'm wasting time talking about it. And making excuses. Start again?
No-one is an island as my mum would say. How do we become an island? Break off from the mainland? Mmm. Lonely. Where's that other island?

And then